Evaluating Intercultural Behavior.

To be honest, I’ve never actually evaluated myself before about my competency with regard to intercultural communication. But I’m glad that there’s this opportunity to learn more about myself, which is what I’ve always wanted, especially at this age where people start to expect one to live more independently.

Cultural Self-Awareness
I think I’ll start with this. I was bought up in a Chinese environment throughout my life. Thinking back, I’m now asking myself, what do I really know about the Chinese culture? Okay, I know the basics. I know there’s the Lunar New Year, and I know why red is the main colour in those few days of celebration. Chinese prize family relations over other aspects of life, and we practice ‘giving back what we’ve received’. We also have our own set of cultural rules. Examples include not giving a clock as a present because it is not auspicious, and also always giving the utmost respect to your elders. But wait, aren’t all these taught to me by my parents and people of the same race? Come to think of it, I don’t think I have ever pondered critically over the Chinese culture rules. Maybe that’s the reason why I have little knowledge about the Chinese cultural biases. Although I really enjoy the rules shared within my own cultural group, I do understand that there are now new ways of looking at the traditional rules defined by our forefathers, and I’m very comfortable with these fresh viewpoints. For example, the Chinese in the Y generation no longer value ‘eating together around the table served with homemade dishes’ as much as our grandparents would anymore; they still do appreciate family time and they wouldn’t mind dinning out together instead.

Knowledge of cultural worldview frameworks
Although I grew up in a multi-ethnic environment, I certainly do not view myself as having a sufficient understanding of different cultures not of my own, especially those that I do not come across often. I remember a few years back when I was in Budapest, it was almost Winter then, and I came across this stall situated at the corner of a lively street. As I turned around the corner, I saw many people standing along the alley drinking from a mug in their hands. The man running the stall caught my glance, stuck his head over the table top, and gestured to me if I wanted one by pointing at the mugs (He probably knew that I wasn’t local and that I didn’t know how to communicate in Hungarian). Curious as I was, I went closer to take a look at the drink they were all consuming. The stall owner muttered in English: “Alcohol” As soon as I figured out what the drink was, I immediately signalled to owner that I didn’t want any of it and went on my way. Back then I was still young, and I was bought up and socially conditioned to think that alcohol usually results in bad consequences. I even passed unfair judgements to the people who were happily chatting away with that mug of alcohol, perceiving them as ‘bad company’. But not long after, through a conversation with a friend, I actually found out that one of the practices of the Hungarian culture at that district is to consume alcohol to keep themselves warm because of the cold weather! I was ashamed of the way I jumped to conclusions without even making any effort to understand their culture practices and whatnot. In essence, I believe I only have partial understanding of the intrinsic values important to other cultures not of my own.

Empathy, verbal and non-verbal communication towards people of other cultures
Every time I interact with someone from a different culture, I try my best to understand the person, and not talk about things that are only peculiar to my own culture. Although I know little of non-verbal communication habits of people from other culture, such as physical contact and eye contact practices, I actively try to seek those differences out and accommodate to them as much as possible especially when I have to work with them in a group. At the same time I would make a mental note to remind myself that they are probably brought up in a different environment and that I should be sensitive to their needs, beliefs and communication styles. I certainly have not attained a complex understand of cultural differences in verbal and nonverbal communications, but I somewhat recognize that there are differences. These differences include the way people of different culture greet, dine, play, and work with each other. Because of such differences, these intercultural communication skills are important because without these skills both parties may fail to understand or interpret rightly the words or behaviour of each other.

Attitudes: Curiosity & Openness
There’s an old joke, “What’s the difference between ignorance and indifference?” Answer, “I don’t know, and I don’t care.” On the surface this seems like an amusing play on words, but it occurs to me now that while “I don’t know” is a perfectly acceptable answer, “I don’t care” is much more ominous. I don’t want to be someone who is apathetic, so I tend to ask questions about other cultures whenever I notice differences in cultural norms and practices. I don’t strive to provide in-depth answers to these questions, but I would simply be contended to know the answers to them. For example, I would want to know what inherently makes the Westerners so confident of themselves. I would ask questions like “Is it the way they were brought up that makes them who they are?” and “What are the different methods that the Western parents have adopted, to educate their children, which could have instilled that sense of confidence in them?” I guess I’m considered to be someone who’s curious. Hmmm, I’m also very open to people who are culturally different from me. In fact, I wouldn’t mind initiating a conversation with people from other ethnicities. And ever since that experience I had in Budapest, it taught me to be more culturally tolerant and to refrain from passing judgements on people who are different, especially when I do not know much about their way of life.

In sum, after thinking through about how I would react towards people of other cultures, there are still a lot of aspects I need to work on to better equip myself with intercultural communication skills. Out of all those different areas that I’ve mentioned, I feel that verbal and non-verbal communication skill is the most important among the rest, simply because we will never fail to meet someone who is different from us, particularly in this globalised world. I won’t say it’s going to be easy to work on these skills, but I won’t stop trying – this I know.